6th of July 2010

I'm using this site again for the sake of pouring the burden inside me. I feel like I wanna burst. I am so empty. At work, I am treated as the life-saver, I do this, I do that, I make them happy. But when I walk out of the building, I am just an ordinary being, a total stranger to everyone. The moment I get inside the apartment, I am like a prisoner..trapped in this flesh, helpless.


I open my email notifications every day to see the people who are not yet tired of me. They made me smile. It is simply amazing to think that these strangers can lift my nerves in a way. I am grateful for them in silence. But I just can't talk to them because of this emptiness. I never face people when I'm sad, especially those people who always see the hyper crazy side of me.


Beanie is currently under repair. If only I could tell everything without having this pain..but I can't.